IELTS Writing Task 2 Band 8 Sample Essay 분석

Exam question: Even though Globalization affects the world's economics in a very postive way, its negative sides should not be forgotten. Discuss.

 

Sample Answer: Everything has tow sides in the world, and so has the prosses of globalization too. The effects of globalization on the world economy are diverted.

 

이 세상의 모든 것은 양면이 존재한다. 이는 세계화의 과정 또한 마찬가지다. 경제에 대한 세계화의 효과는 전환된다.

* Everything has tow sides in the world: 모든 것은 양면이 존재한다.

 

We must acknowledge that the negative effects are from a different kind than the positive ones. Therefore, the negative sides, like low payment in less developed countires are important to considerate.

 

우리는 부정적인 영향이 긍정적인 영향과는 다른 종류에서 온다는 것을 인지해야 한다. 그러므로, 후진국에 대한 저임금과 같은 부정적인 츤멱은 중요하게 고려된다.

* acknowledge: 인지하다.

* considerate: Consideration means being kindly and thoughtfully concerned about the feelings and situations of others. Being considerate means being able to put yourself in others' shoes and understand what is important to them.

 

If we take the Eurozone for example, the economic changes according to the globalization process are huge. Many companies have transferred their factories into cheaper production aeries to compete in the world marks. The results are rising unemployment rates in the "old industrial countires".

 

유로존을 예시로 들자면, 세계화에 따른 경제 변동은 크다. 많은 기업들이 세계 시장에서 경쟁하기 위해 그들의 공장을 더 싼 생산 지역으로 옮겼다. 결과는 오래된 산업 국가의 실업률 증가였다.

* aerie: 둥지, 지역

 

In regard to the other countries on the world market, such as China, this job transfer is a big oppertunity. But no one can deny that the consequences for the less developed countries where the economy flourished, based on availability of cheap employees are highly important: globalization based on these facts causes environmental problems.

 

중국과 같은 다른 세계 시장의 국가에 관련해서는, 이 이직은 큰 기회이다. 아무리 그래도 경제가 번성하는 데 있어 저렴한 노동력이 활용되는 것이 중요한 요소임을 부정할 수 없습니다. 이러한 사실에 기반한 글로벌화는 환경 문제를 야기하고 있다.

* In regard to: ~와 관련해서는

* consequences for: ~의 결과는

* flourish: 번성하다. (Synonyms: boom, expand)

 

Nevertheless, there are also plosive reasons for globalization effects. In general it is remarkable that there is a new tendency in "Thinking Global". For instance, people are willing to learn more languages and get educated about other cultures. Countries formally known as undeveloped, such as India, are getting chances to be the main leader in a certain field.

 

그럼에도 불구하고, 세계화 효과에 대한 파열적인 이유들도 존재한다. 일반적으로 "Thinking global"에 새로운 경향이 있다는 것은 주목할 만하다. 예를 들면, 사람들은 타 국가의 언어를 배우고 타 국가로부터 배우려고 한다. 인도와 같이 후진국으로 널리 알려진 국가들이 특정 분야에서 선두주자가 될 기회들을 얻고 있다.

* plosive: 파열적인

* in general: 일반적으로

* remarkable: 주목할 만하다

* tendency: 경향

* For instance: 예를 들어

* be willing to: ~하고자 한다

* formally: 공식적으로, 널리

* field: 분야

 

All in all it can be said that the effects of globalization are enormous. The understanding of economic processes has changed completely. It is important to think in bigger terms, not just about the own country. The positive things that this globalization process have brought must sensible us for the negative sides. The all over aim should be a world in balance, but this has yet to come.

 

결국, 세계화의 영향은 엄청나다고 할 수 있을 것이다. 경제 프로세스에 대한 이해가 완전히 바뀌었다. 자국에 대해서만이 아닌, 더 큰 과점에서 생각하는 것이 중요하다. 세계화 과정이 가져온 긍정적인 영향들은 우리들로 하여금 부정적인 측면에 대해서 민감해질 수 있게 해야 한다. 전반적인 목표는 균형 있는 세계여야 한다. 그러나 이는 아직 오지 않았다.

* all in all: 결국

* term 관점

* all over aim 전반적인 목표

* has/have yet to come 아직 오지 않았다.

 

< My answer >

Everything has side effects. This logic can also be applied to globalization. Effects of globalization to on economics are enormous, which is a serious problem. We must acknowledge the tow sides of the globalization. This essay will talk about positive, and negative effects of globalization and then give several solutions in conclusion.

 

It is certain that globalization is giving a lot of opportunities to people in all around the world. Due to globalization, people from undeveloped countries can work in well-developed countries such as the US with higher salaries and more opportunities to be educated. For instance, recent days, people from undeveloped countries like India are the leaders of Silicon valley where the highest technologies are located. 

 

Increased opportunities are not the only major positive effects of globalization. Globalization makes people in various countries to unite. It was full of wars and countless of sacrifices before globalization, people considered only about their nations. However, people in these days are learning others countries's culture, and language to considerate each other. Through gathering, people are united and fight with world-damaging problem such as global warming, and blackmails of nuclear bombs, which is a remarkable phenomenon.

 

Nevertheless, globalization has also negative effects. Globalization has possibility to make poor countries more pore. This problem is related to the positive effects of globalization, the more oppertunities. Since people want to work in well-developed countries, result is decreased count number of experts in undeveloped countries. This event causes the increase of the gap between well-developed conuntries and undeveloped conuntries.

 

To sum up, global citizens should admit the effects of globalization and be sensitive to its negative effects. Globalization accompanied by help for undeveloped countries should be proceed, which can reduce the gap. The overall aim should be a world in balance.

 

(1) decrease는 자동사 및 수동태로 쓴다. 타동사는 reduce를 사용할 것

(2) be applied to: ~에 적용되다.